Tomerton Village

'The carpet monster' is a widely held superstition amongst plastic modellers, who believe it explains any parts of a model dropped on the floor disappearing completely. A part goes missing, and the modeller says "oh, it's been taken by the carpet monster". Every modeller has experienced the archetypal 'part dropped on floor disappears forever'. But beyond this, the Carpet Monster is associated with even more bizarre phenomena. Parts disappearing from boxes put aside on the shelf. And, not just parts disappearing, but - parts appearing. Sometimes; parts from kits that the modeller themselves doesn't actually own! I'm of a skeptical disposition, and naturally I found this supernatural nonsense in my favourite hobby ridiculous. It needed scientific investigation to end the silliness. So, I put an ad in the Tomerton Gazette: 'Investigators Wanted: Missing plastic parts. Reward.' ******************************** The following morning a...

'999. Whats your emergency?' 'Um, i'm at Tomerton canal, and these pepperpot robots and their ape henchmen have sort of materialised in the tunnel. They've got guns' <keyboard types. surprised pause> 'Oh. Ok, we're going to be sending the army. They'll be there within 20 minutes. In the meantime, is there somewhere safe you can hide?' ++++++++++++++++++ Soon the streets of Tomerton rumbled as a military convoy passed by. Reconnaissance patrols confirmed these really were Daleks, and not just dustbins as UNIT are often called out for. Soldiers crept to position... ...only to be 'scented' by the keen nosed Ogrons, who find the clean soapy smell of humans utterly disgusting! violence erupted! the Ogrons themselves being so thick skinned as to be practically impervious to small arms fire. UNIT suffered terribly: the Ogrons came closer. Soon UNIT would be overrun! Although we might wonder why no-one t...

After faking their own break-up, the Beatles toured a number of bizarre places, including the village of Tomerton. Here they are above the chip shop: All the villagers came out, and they blocked off the high street so we could watch the concert: The band were fantastic: Oh god. This was embarrassing. In the 70s streaking was really common in Tomerton - pretty much any occasion, weddings, parties, funerals: It's only in the past couple of decades, with ads on tv and bus shelters that people have finally begun to get the message that this kind of thing is not ok. We didn't bat an eyelid back then: Not everybody enjoyed it. This young man said the band were plodding dinosaurs, and he was off to create his own genre of loud, visceral, socially relevant rock and roll. Police arrested him for being a twerp: Many people don't believe this happened, but i tell them, i should know - i was actually there, i was the support act! As a very young guy, i got up an...